I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
