Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
