Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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