Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
