i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I love having hate sex.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
