I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
