Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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