i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I didn't shave. On purpose
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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