Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
