We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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