I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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