no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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