Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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