spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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