take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize