I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
