I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
