i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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