you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
