Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
True strength comes from lack of pants
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
