To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
