Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
why didn't you poke me back
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
