No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
