why didn't you poke me back
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
