Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize