are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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