Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
