tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
