I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
