how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
