Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
