Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
