God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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