He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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