If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
