Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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