kristin has been a bad kristin
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
