Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
