I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
