I want to have your abortion
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize