Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
