I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
