Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
