I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There r osticjed everywhere
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
