so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
