I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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