I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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