so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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