Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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