I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
