I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How naked do you want me to be?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
