well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
