If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
