to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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