if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
