EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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