He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
where are my eyebrows?
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