Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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