So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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