Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i out mim tonsoeep
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