I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
