I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
