Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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