she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
