when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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