I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How does one acquire holy water?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize