do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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