but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
