Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
