It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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