You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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