Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
