it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
