like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
