he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
