based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
