Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Holy sore nipples Batman
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
