I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i think im in europe. pls send help
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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