I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
