walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
