Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
