I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
