do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
